Thinking Out Loud

why don't plans ever go as planned? things rarely turn out the way you want them to, but somehow, it's almost better that way...in some weird odd way... sometimes these surprises or deviations are even better than the planned outcomes....i like how life's unpredictable in that way, I love being surprised by those other things that would have gone unnoticed or unappreciated at first sight, begin confused, feeling a loss of control... everything in this world is ordered somehow, I think it's difficult to go outside that realm and be apart of something that is disorganized and chaotic...and I don't mean being stressed or overworked, but chaotic in a disordered way, outside anything tangible. we look at something that is chaotic as something bad, but it doesn't have to be. i wish I could find a medium in which I find pure chaos, something unrecognizable, something that can't be characterized by our current means.....i wish i could see things in a different dimension, under a different spectrum, outside a controlled system....

Sandy Blonde

me

I'm blonde now....though it seems darker in this pic:)

Hate

Have you ever hated someone to the point you really honestly wished they would just die?! I wish my mom would.....really.....I wish she would die of some natural cause, get a lethal disease or infection....I know it sounds harsh, but I sometimes wish I never had family. I think my stress level would be close to gone if they weren't around, as sad as that sounds, but I have to always be there, always, and I get kicked in the back regardless...sometimes it's exhausting....

Luckily I have a wonderful love in my life that keeps me going and makes me want to stay around....and not let my hatred take over. Friends, hobbies and other stuff are great, but it's nice to have that love in your life that seems to make things look....not as bad as they could be.

Alright, so new post.....I'm Turning Blonde

So after thinking about the idea for a day or two, I've decided to go blonde! I have the appointment for tomorrow at 12:30pm and the colorist/stylist is planning on making me blonde! yay! I think I need a change from this brown hair and who knows, it may turn out to be pretty sweet! My idea is to have dirty blonde hair, preferrable long, so I won't cut it, and yeah, then styled somehow...P.S I've already dyed my hair, but it looks more orange than blonde, so I'm having it re-done! we'll see people, we'll see......